Actions speak louder than words. When it comes to self-confidence this saying says it all. Yes, meditation, journaling, visualizing can help you in gaining self-confidence but to a point. After a certain level, you will find it harder and harder to stay confident. One after another, situations will arise where your confidence will be tested
Do you really think that visualizing can help you in staying confident in situations where your career or your life is on the line? No, For those situations you need something more special. Growing up, I always admired people who were confident
I always assumed that their confidence is something that they were blessed with, Something that I can never possess. My lack of confidence and insecurities resulted in problems
Problems that made it impossible for me to live my life to the fullest. So, I decided to read and find a way to gain more confidence
After reading several books & tons of articles on confidence & self-esteem this is what I figured out
- Confidence is like a muscle the more you train it, the stronger it gets
- No one around you really knows what they are doing, They are just doing it and pretending that they know everything
- Confidence needs something to fuel it
- Fuel is something that can only be gained through actions
You can pretend to be confident in any situation but there is a limit because at the end of the day you are just pretending and assuming things. Whenever you will face a challenge or a situation where the solution lies beyond your comfort zone, You will start doubting yourself
Doubt will cause chaos and within no time, all your confidence is gone. You may even lose the little bit of confidence you have in yourself
The best way to build confidence is through genuine actions. Actions that will make you strong mentally. Here are 3 practical steps that you can follow to improve your confidence
Confidence is Silent, Insecurities are aloud
Step 1. Understand Yourself Inside Out
Do you think you know yourself? Knowing yourself is not just about knowing what you like and what you don’t like. It’s about knowing your thumbscrew!
Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdomAristotle
You need to know things that can move you. Here is a small list of questions you need to answer before going to Step 2
Q.1 Why do you want to be confident?
Q.2 List all the situations that make you feel insecure or list all your fears? (For example, I used to feel insecure in parties and talking to people I don’t know)
Q.3 Do you feel insecure by the way you look?
Q.4 Is there any specific person you want to be like?
Q.5 What are your gaols? Be specific!
Q.6 Do you think that people around you support you and your goals?
Q.7 Do you hate anyone at work/school/college?
Q.8 Assuming that you hate someone, List all the reasons why you hate them? (Be honest)
Q.9 List all the things that you will never do?
Q.10 Visualize all the situations that can make you do all the things that you thought you will never do?
Bonus Question.11 Do you like someone, If yes, do they know that you like them?
You need to answer every single question before going any further. These questions are for you to know yourself more deeply. The more you think about yourself through these questions the more comfortable & confident you will be in your actions. Hence, More Self-Confidence
Step 2. Rising Up For a Challenge
In step 2. We will discuss all those questions and come up with appropriate actions you need to take after answering every single question
These actions will fuel your confidence. You will no longer be a person of mere words. You are a Man/Lady of your words. These actions will determine how confident you will be in the future. So, try your best and go beyond your comfort zone 🙂!
Assuming you have a legit reason to be confident (Everyone has a reason to be confident. You don’t even need a reason to be confident, to begin with) My reason was the things I could have done better if I was confident
Finding a reason to stay confident will help you in fighting insecurities better and stay consistent on your path of personal development
Action: Now is the time to put it in words. Whatever your reason is put it in words. Every day you are going to recall all those reasons and promise yourself, again and again, every day that if you are going to do something, then you are going to do it with confidence
You have to think about situations in the past that made you feel vulnerable & imagine situations that you consciously want to avoid. List all these situations and all the things your fear on a piece of paper
To be more confident, it’s very important that you gain enough mental strength so, that you can handle situations that you normally want to avoid. For example, You are afraid of public speaking but facing this fear will be a huge boost to your confidence
Everything you fear or everything that makes you feel vulnerable in some way can help you in gaining more confidence
Note: This is the most important Task
Action: After making a list, start by putting yourself consciously in situations that you want to avoid. Work on your fears so that they can no longer stop you from moving forward
By facing all the situations you want to avoid, By facing all your fears, You will become a person who radiates with self-confidence, self-esteem, and pride
If you feel insecure by the way you look, Then you have two options
Ist option: Accept yourself
Second option: Work on yourself and change yourself until you are satisfied by the way you look
You can either change yourself or accept yourself, the choice is yours. I would recommend you to work on yourself because this way you will get a chance to improve and become a better version of yourself
Moreover, this is much more exiting, enjoyable approach to life
Action: Change yourself physically until you are satisfied by the way you look. I hate to admit it but your appearance will determine your confidence to some extent
Do you have a role model? If you have one then figure out all the qualities & things that love about them. Make a list & work on developing those same qualities in yourself. If you don’t then find one
Action: Follow your role model
If you have a passion then follow your passion. If you don’t have enough confidence to pursue your goals then you will never have enough confidence to do anything
Following your passion is what will make you special & fill you with confidence. Technically, Just by working on your goals, you will gain more than enough mental strength and clarity to face any obstacle in your life
Tip: If you don’t have a goal or a passion, then pursue something you like. Life is short So, it’s better you avoid wasting your time and energy doing things that you don’t love
Rule of thumb: Your goal is your destiny. Ignore it at your own risk
Action: Believe in yourself that you can achieve your goals and avoid naysayers, negativity, & doubt. There is a limit to how much energy you can possess. Wasting it on naysayers is pointless
I know it’s hard when nobody believes in you but your goals are also the only way forward. You have to believe in yourself even if no one else believes in you
If you hate someone then it’s best to know why you hate them. Think about them, and figure out the reasons for your hate. Unless he/she is criminal, figuring out the reasons will help you in knowing yourself properly
Remember the more you know about yourself, The more you will be comfortable in uncomfortable situations. Hence, self-confidence. In a way, confidence is a long journey where you get to know about your weaknesses, strengths, & ego
Think more deeply and try to put yourself in the position of that person. That’s all you need to do
Figure out the reasons for your inaction
Figure out the situations that will help you in taking action. You may even realize that you are more confident than you think
If you like someone then let them know your feelings. The amount of confidence and mental strength you need to propose to your crush is off the chart. Even if they decline your offer
You now have something special. A proof of your self confidence
If you can’t even go after your deepest desire then chances are you will never be able to go after anything else. Be honest to yourself, Be honest to people around you. This will eliminate a lot of problems
I still remember the first person I confessed my feelings to. It felt like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. For the next 2-4 months, My life was really depressing but now looking back, I think it was the best decision of the year
Step 3. Problems & Situations
Your confidence at the end of the day will depend upon your ability to handle adversity. The more you are good at handling uncomfortable situations & problems the more confident you will be
Like a warrior who knows he can survive a battle on his own. Make yourself so good at handling discomfort that being in comfort is something you consciously try to avoid
Don’t look down on yourself, Push beyond your limits, and attain the confidence that sets you apart. Confidence that will not shatter in the face of adversity. Adversity is just a tool to prove your capabilities, your will, and your strength
Gain Strength through actions
7 Signs of a Confident Person
Sign 1. They treat everyone equally
Sign 2. Disrespect is unacceptable for them
Sign 3. They keep on moving forward
Sign 4. For them self-improvement is not an option but a way of life
Sign 5. They go after what they desire
Sign 6. They display composure in adversity
Sign 7. Open body language
On a quick note, You just need to develop these 7 qualities in yourself to be a more confident person
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