How to Improve Your Self Confidence? (3 Practical Steps)

Actions speak louder than words. When it comes to self-confidence this saying says it all. Yes, meditation, journaling, visualizing can help you in gaining self-confidence but to a point. After a certain level, you will find it harder and harder to stay confident. One after another, situations will arise where your confidence will be tested

Do you really think that visualizing can help you in staying confident in situations where your career or your life is on the line? No, For those situations you need something more special. Growing up, I always admired people who were confident

I always assumed that their confidence is something that they were blessed with, Something that I can never possess. My lack of confidence and insecurities resulted in problems

Problems that made it impossible for me to live my life to the fullest. So, I decided to read and find a way to gain more confidence

After reading several books & tons of articles on confidence & self-esteem this is what I figured out

1. Confidence is like a muscle the more you train it, the stronger it gets
2. No one around you really knows what they are doing, They are just doing it and pretending that they know everything
3. Confidence needs something to fuel it
4. Fuel is something that can only be gained through actions

You can pretend to be confident in any situation but there is a limit because at the end of the day you are just pretending and assuming things. Whenever you will face a challenge or a situation where the solution lies beyond your comfort zone, You will start doubting yourself

Doubt will cause chaos and within no time, all your confidence is gone. You may even lose the little bit of confidence you have in yourself

The best way to build confidence is through genuine actions. Actions that will make you strong mentally. Here are 3 practical steps that you can follow to improve your confidence

Confidence is Silent, Insecurities are aloud

Step 1. Understand Yourself Inside Out

Do you think you know yourself? Knowing yourself is not just about knowing what you like and what you don’t like. It’s about knowing your thumbscrew!

Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom

Aristotle

You need to know things that can move you. Here is a small list of questions you need to answer before going to Step 2

Q.1 Why do you want to be confident?

Q.2 List all the situations that make you feel insecure or list all your fears? (For example, I used to feel insecure in parties and talking to people I don’t know)

Q.3 Do you feel insecure by the way you look?

Q.4 Is there any specific person you want to be like?

Q.5 What are your gaols? Be specific!

Q.6 Do you think that people around you support you and your goals?

Q.7 Do you hate anyone at work/school/college?

Q.8 Assuming that you hate someone, List all the reasons why you hate them? (Be honest)

Q.9 List all the things that you will never do?

Q.10 Visualize all the situations that can make you do all the things that you thought you will never do?

Bonus Question.11 Do you like someone, If yes, do they know that you like them?

You need to answer every single question before going any further. These questions are for you to know yourself more deeply. The more you think about yourself through these questions the more comfortable & confident you will be in your actions. Hence, More Self-Confidence

Step 2. Rising Up For a Challenge

In step 2. We will discuss all those questions and come up with appropriate actions you need to take after answering every single question

These actions will fuel your confidence. You will no longer be a person of mere words. You are a Man/Lady of your words. These actions will determine how confident you will be in the future. So, try your best and go beyond your comfort zone 🙂! 

Q.1

Assuming you have a legit reason to be confident (Everyone has a reason to be confident. You don’t even need a reason to be confident, to begin with) My reason was the things I could have done better if I was confident

Finding a reason to stay confident will help you in fighting insecurities better and stay consistent on your path of personal development

Action: Now is the time to put it in words. Whatever your reason is put it in words. Every day you are going to recall all those reasons and promise yourself, again and again, every day that if you are going to do something, then you are going to do it with confidence

Q.2

You have to think about situations in the past that made you feel vulnerable & imagine situations that you consciously want to avoid. List all these situations and all the things your fear on a piece of paper

To be more confident, it’s very important that you gain enough mental strength so, that you can handle situations that you normally want to avoid. For example, You are afraid of public speaking but facing this fear will be a huge boost to your confidence

Everything you fear or everything that makes you feel vulnerable in some way can help you in gaining more confidence

Note: This is the most important Task

Action: After making a list, start by putting yourself consciously in situations that you want to avoid. Work on your fears so that they can no longer stop you from moving forward

By facing all the situations you want to avoid, By facing all your fears, You will become a person who radiates with self-confidence, self-esteem, and pride

Q.3

If you feel insecure by the way you look, Then you have two options

Ist option: Accept yourself

Second option: Work on yourself and change yourself until you are satisfied by the way you look

You can either change yourself or accept yourself, the choice is yours. I would recommend you to work on yourself because this way you will get a chance to improve and become a better version of yourself

Moreover, this is much more exiting, enjoyable approach to life

Action: Change yourself physically until you are satisfied by the way you look. I hate to admit it but your appearance will determine your confidence to some extent

Q.4

Do you have a role model? If you have one then figure out all the qualities & things that love about them. Make a list & work on developing those same qualities in yourself. If you don’t then find one

Action: Follow your role model

Q.5

If you have a passion then follow your passion. If you don’t have enough confidence to pursue your goals then you will never have enough confidence to do anything

Following your passion is what will make you special & fill you with confidence. Technically, Just by working on your goals, you will gain more than enough mental strength and clarity to face any obstacle in your life

Tip: If you don’t have a goal or a passion, then pursue something you like. Life is short So, it’s better you avoid wasting your time and energy doing things that you don’t love

Q.6

Rule of thumb: Your goal is your destiny. Ignore it at your own risk

Action: Believe in yourself that you can achieve your goals and avoid naysayers, negativity, & doubt. There is a limit to how much energy you can possess. Wasting it on naysayers is pointless

I know it’s hard when nobody believes in you but your goals are also the only way forward. You have to believe in yourself even if no one else believes in you

Q.7

If you hate someone then it’s best to know why you hate them. Think about them, and figure out the reasons for your hate. Unless he/she is criminal, figuring out the reasons will help you in knowing yourself properly

Remember the more you know about yourself, The more you will be comfortable in uncomfortable situations. Hence, self-confidence. In a way, confidence is a long journey where you get to know about your weaknesses, strengths, & ego

Q.8

Think more deeply and try to put yourself in the position of that person. That’s all you need to do

Q.9

Figure out the reasons for your inaction

Q.10

Figure out the situations that will help you in taking action. You may even realize that you are more confident than you think

Bonus Q.11

If you like someone then let them know your feelings. The amount of confidence and mental strength you need to propose to your crush is off the chart. Even if they decline your offer

You now have something special. A proof of your self confidence

If you can’t even go after your deepest desire then chances are you will never be able to go after anything else. Be honest to yourself, Be honest to people around you. This will eliminate a lot of problems

I still remember the first person I confessed my feelings to. It felt like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. For the next 2-4 months, My life was really depressing but now looking back, I think it was the best decision of the year

Step 3. Problems & Situations

Your confidence at the end of the day will depend upon your ability to handle adversity. The more you are good at handling uncomfortable situations & problems the more confident you will be

Like a warrior who knows he can survive a battle on his own. Make yourself so good at handling discomfort that being in comfort is something you consciously try to avoid

Don’t look down on yourself, Push beyond your limits, and attain the confidence that sets you apart. Confidence that will not shatter in the face of adversity. Adversity is just a tool to prove your capabilities, your will, and your strength

Gain Strength through actions

7 Signs of a Confident Person

Sign 1. They treat everyone equally

Sign 2. Disrespect is unacceptable for them

Sign 3. They keep on moving forward

Sign 4. For them self-improvement is not an option but a way of life

Sign 5. They go after what they desire

Sign 6. They display composure in adversity

Sign 7. Open body language

On a quick note, You just need to develop these 7 qualities in yourself to be a more confident person

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