Dating is supposed to be fun. You go out to meet strangers, share a few moments with them until you find that one stranger you wish to spend every moment with, and then you settle down.
Together you try your best to make every day special. Time flies by as you spend most of your days around people who care and love you more than you know.
Of course, not all days were special; some days were unkind too, challenging your marriage and love. However, you managed to stick together through the highs and the lows.
Isn’t this what everyone is trying to do? But why is it that so few can make it happen?
The reason is simple “Dating is hard in the 21st century.” With rising expectations due to Movies, Netflix Series, Social Media, and more, Dating has become more complicated than it ever was.
Most people have a long list of what they desire from their partner and with each new trend the list just keeps on changing.
Making it harder for them to decide what they want, let alone find it in a person. If you are looking for someone to date, love, or settle down, Here are two steps you can follow to find the right guy:
Step 1: Figuring Out What You Want!
There are certain things you need to be aware of before you start looking for the right guy. You kinda need to know what you want, as clearly as possible.
So, what I want you to do right now is make a list of qualities you want in your partner.
Depending upon your individuality, lifestyle, your situation, the type of man who can complement your life may need qualities far off then you can ever ask in an average man.
Task: Take a piece of paper and write what qualities you want your man to possess.
Qualities That Can Be Compromised
Now sort all the qualities into two lists, negotiable and unnegotiable. For example, You want your man to be tall and have a dog. Maybe being tall is negotiable, however not having a dog is a disqualifier.
By sorting your list this way, you can point out exactly what you desire in a guy.
Here are some personality traits & qualities you should look for in a guy:
Must Have Qualities & Personality Traits!
These are not just qualities of the right guy. These are the qualities of a good human being. So, these are kinda unnegotiable if you ask me.
However, if you find a guy who lacks a few of these qualities, You can always help and support him so that he can become better. Isn’t that what relationship is all about: Journey from good to great?
Developing those qualities together and helping each other through highs and lows will build strength & trust your relationship needs to last forever.
Here are some qualities & personality traits that a guy must have:
Compassion means “to suffer together.” It means that your partner can recognize the suffering of others and then takes action to help the person in need.
Compassion is what makes a human being a human being.
It’s not possible to decide whether your partner is compassionate or not just by his looks. You have to spend some time with him to figure that out. Moreover, if you are less compassionate yourself, chances are you won’t be able to recognize it in another person.
This article by LadyLux may help you in figuring out whether you are compassionate or not. Moreover, you need to look for the same signs in your partner to know whether he is full of compassion or not.
Empathy is the ability to understand the feelings of other people, see things from their point of view, and ability to put yourself in someone else place.
You should avoid dating a guy who is not empathic. Assuming you have been lucky enough to not have crossed paths with a guy who lacks empathy.
A guy who lacks empathy will not understand you. No matter how hard you try, you won’t be able to make him understand your situation, what you are feeling for him, or feelings related to a particular situation.
In long run, it will result in conflicts, arguments, and a lot of painful memories.
So, make sure he’s empathic. Check out this article by Insider for knowing whether you are empathic yourself.
3. Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is the ability to control, understand, use, and manage your emotions in a positive way. There is a difference between suppressing and channeling your emotions.
Emotional intelligence is not about suppressing emotions. It’s about expressing them wisely.
When I say your partner should possess emotional intelligence, I don’t mean that he should be emotionally rigid. What I mean is that he should be able to express his emotions wisely, depending upon the situation.
4. Decisiveness & Courage
In times of crisis, the best thing you can do is the right thing and the second best thing you can do is do something, rather than standing there waiting for someone else to make a decision.
The guy you are dating must be decisive. You don’t want to date a guy who is indecisive cause someday his indecisiveness will make it hard for him to ask your hand for marriage.
You also don’t want to date a guy who lacks courage. It’s understandable if someone has a particular fear. But his fear should not stop him from doing what’s right.
You are looking for the right guy, a guy you can start a family with, a guy who can stand up and face problems and fears along with you to protect his family.
5. Reputation & Financial Stability
This is something you can do before starting a relationship with a guy. You can do a background check to know what type of reputation he has.
Is he known for his courage, adventurous nature, and his big smile, or Is he known for his laziness? Before dating, it’s also better to know whether he is financially stable.
Since it’s better to date a guy who is independent than someone who is living in his parent’s basement.
Moreover, him being independent doesn’t mean that he needs to be a millionaire. It’s perfect if he is a millionaire, but it’s even better if he is hustling to become successful.
This way, you can start a relationship while helping each other in reaching your goals, and this combined struggle for success will be like roots that are not visible to other people but are keeping your relationship stable.
6. Mutual Respect
If he doesn’t respect you, your family, your dreams, There is no point in dating him.
It’s easy to ask for respect or say that we respect each other in a relationship. But respect doesn’t work this way. His respect for you shouldn’t be out of his insecurity, weakness, or your demand. It should be more from an admiration point of view.
He should respect you for being you.
7. Trust & Attraction
Trust is the powerhouse of a relationship. This is not something you will be able to decide right away. You may need more than a few months to decide whether you can trust him or not. Moreover, in this situation, there is one blind spot.
If you are prone to distrust, if you have been betrayed or cheated by other people in the past, chances are you may not trust him even though he deserves to be trusted.
In this particular scenario, It’s for the best if you get in touch with your emotions, thoughts on a deeper level so that your past and painful memories don’t affect your relationship.
The best foot forward is to seek a psychologist and reexamine your past rationally so that you become aware of how your past tragedies are affecting your life.
Being attracted to your partner physically is essential for a healthy relationship. Some prioritize that their partner is a solid ‘9’ others settle for someone good enough.
This is kinda up to you. However, I would advise you to avoid disqualifying a guy just based on his looks. The world has only a handful of guys who look like Tom Cruise.
Step 2: Finding The Guy
There are more than 3 billion men on the planet. I am sure you will find the guy with the talents you desire; If you look hard enough.
There are two ways to find Mr. Perfect:
1. Online Dating
You sign up to popular dating apps and sites and just look for him. It probably will take some time. However, on the bright side, you will get the chance to meet new people every week.
2. Offline Destiny
This way has more to do with you being open to possibility.
If you are not interested in online dating, you can always search for your right guy the old-fashioned way. However, this way requires effort.
Depending upon the qualities you are looking for in a man, there is a high probability that your right guy is out of your usual social circle.
It may sound improper to you, but you can always join hobbies that your right guy should have. For example, If you want your partner to be interested in gardening, there is little probability that you will find him in a dance class.
The search for the right guy is more or a less a search for a man who can be your best friend, someone who shares your perspective. Moreover, If you can’t find a guy with all the qualities you desire, you should try finding a guy who possesses potential.
A guy who you think with enough support, love, and care can become great. Start with knowing what you want and stop after you find Mr.Right.
P.S Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this article on finding the right guy, feel free to share it. Moreover, leave a question down below in the comment section if you have any
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